shapirorob:

thescissoringqueen:

This might be the alcohol talking but I’m pretty sure I wanna get Jack Johnson’s face tattooed on my ass

I feel like that’s not something Sober!Jade would say.

You don’t know that.

13 hours ago 3   via | © source
#rc:rs

…No.

15 hours ago
#rc:to

This might be the alcohol talking but I’m pretty sure I wanna get Jack Johnson’s face tattooed on my ass

16 hours ago 3  
#jade

trinatalent:

thescissoringqueen:

I have a naturally fair complexion, and I own it.

You don’t even look like the living dead, you look like the dead dead.

Thank you.

18 hours ago 4   via
#rc:tr

trinatalent:

thescissoringqueen replied to your post: I feel bad for all the girls out there…

Yes, your pumpkin orange sheen is so natural. It’s definitely what I wish I looked like.

You’re just jealous ‘cause you’re as white as a sheet the whole year round.

I have a naturally fair complexion, and I own it.

18 hours ago 4   via
#rc:tr

mister-skinnyjeans:

thescissoringqueen:

mister-skinnyjeans:

thescissoringqueen replied to your post “All I’m saying is that Iceland is probably a load of codswallop. Also…”

Okay, I’ll bite. Why is Iceland “codswollop”?

Well you know how the capitol of Iceland is Reykjavik?

Um, yeah, I guess so.

Exactly. That’s all you need to know. Whoosh.

I don’t get it.

1 day ago 3   via
#rc:sj

mister-skinnyjeans:

thescissoringqueen replied to your post “All I’m saying is that Iceland is probably a load of codswallop. Also…”

Okay, I’ll bite. Why is Iceland “codswollop”?

Well you know how the capitol of Iceland is Reykjavik?

Um, yeah, I guess so.

1 day ago 3   via
#rc:sj

Wine and Wonder || Bade

thebeckoliver:

Beck pulled Jade closer, firmly holding her waist, “Well, M’lady, you’re alone no longer. Sir Oliver will accompany you on this fine evening.” It had been a while since he last hung out at Jade’s place. Though, everything was as he last saw it. It was a rather big home, with fancy furnishing and things you would normally see in a High End Home Decor Magazine. However, as beautiful as it was, it always felt kind of… cold. Being in there gave you a sense of emptiness. He couldn’t blame his girlfriend for not wanting to be there by herself, sometimes choosing to go over to his RV, instead. It was a sad sight. 

"All right well…" He gave her a quick peck on the lips, leaning over to the table and grabbing the plastic bag. "Here we have…" Looking inside the bag, he began taking out his things, "we have movies! We have a choice between Zoolander or Blue Valentine. Both different genres but equally great. And also—" He set the movies back on the table then took out the candy and waved them around, "Red Vines for the Missus. And last but definitely not the least… the wine!” Throwing the vines next to the movies, he grabbed the wine and quickly walked over to the kitchen. “Tonight, we celebrate in honor of the absence of those creepy guys your mom brings over that causes not only awkward moments but memories that will be permanently seeped in to out brains. And also, we celebrate my beautiful girlfriend for being patient and understanding. And also… for getting me the bottle opener because I forgot to bring one.”

"My, how chivalrous of you, Sir Oliver," Jade laughed, playing along. "So noble that you would come to accompany a damsel in distress on an evening like this." She smiled and kissed him again before following him to the kitchen, where he was setting out plastic cups and rifling through drawers, searching for a corkscrew. People tended to mock Beck for being a bit of a pretty-boy airhead, but she knew better. He was so sweet and gentle, and he had a pretty big romantic streak, too. Jade knew that his heart was definitely in the right place.

"Wine, two movies and my favorite candy?” she exclaimed. She turned, leaning up against the countertop and raising an eyebrow at him. “What’s got you feeling so generous?” When he didn’t immediately answer, a sense of anxiety settled over her. “…Oh my god, it’s not our anniversary or something, is it?” she asked tentatively. “Because if it is, I’m gonna feel like total shit for forgetting.”

1 day ago 3   via
#para:bo #para:waw

thebeckoliver:

thescissoringqueen replied to your post “For the first time in the past few days, it’s actually not hot ass…”

Humidity is a bitch, though.

Tell me about it. I honestly wish I lived in Antartica. 

That’s just another extreme though. I feel like there’s got to be some kind of middle ground.

1 day ago 1   via
#rc:bo

My mom got home last night and tried to do my laundry and be all motherly, but she forgot to use my special detergent. And she put EVERYTHING in the dryer. So I’m now the proud owner of a bunch of shrunken, grey clothes. Hurray.

2 days ago
#jade
©foxfaced